PlainGeets

Every few years, there is a new favourite word/expression that floats around, widely overused and abused, but most importantly terribly misused. The current expression seems to be passive aggressive. The expression is bandied around in all kinds of situations, and more often than not, the expression has no place in that situation, and causes much confusion (and irritation) for me. 

Let’s start with the meaning: 

“Passive-aggressive behavior is a pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them. There’s a disconnect between what a person who exhibits passive-aggressive behavior says and what he or she does.

For example, someone who engages in passive-aggressive behavior might appear to agree — perhaps even enthusiastically — with another person’s request. Rather than complying with the request, however, he or she might express anger or resentment by failing to follow through or missing deadlines.”

– Source: Mayo Clinic 

Passive-aggressive behaviour is usually expressed by some through sarcasm, silence, backhanded compliments, and subtle digs. Others express their passive-aggression by expressing their feelings non-verbally, showing lack of punctuality, chronic forgetfulness, being deliberately incompetent, etc. (More about passive-aggressive behaviour here.)

But coming back to my pet peeve on how this expression is used so thoughtlessly, randomly painting the other party as the aggressor / wrong-doer. 

Being asked to toe the line might be considered aggressive behaviour, but it definitely isn’t passive-aggression. Passive aggression isn’t direct instructions. It isn’t expressing disapproval. It also isn’t teasing and gentle mocking. 

Somewhere along the way, we stopped understanding the true meaning of passive-aggression, and started applying that label to everything that made us uncomfortable, or didn’t make it easy for us. It galls me no end that the term is used incorrectly by people, and so flippantly. 😠 Words matter, even in this new age of trending terms and buzzwords! 

Are we just becoming this casual about what we say, or is it a reflection of our increasingly over-sensitive selves, where almost everything that isn’t coated in three layers of sugar is unpalatable to us? At what point in our evolution did we become so focused on having things always aligned to our vision or the world, a world where we could do as pleased, and nobody would ever tell us anything, or tease us and indulge in a friendly banter that might expose our weaknesses and flaws? Why have we become a society so incapable of accepting anything contrarian to our own world view?

P.S This post might just be construed as an example of passive-aggression! 😉